Partying, clubbing, drinking, and smoking doesn't make someone "bad," as long as the person still has morals and knows his or her limits. There's nothing wrong with having a little fun once in a while.
HEY THERE DELILAH, WHAT’S IT LIKE IN YOUR VAGINA? I’M A THOUSAND MILES AWAY, BUT GIRL I’D LIKE TO GET INSIDE YA, YES I DO, NO GIRL CAN FUCK AS WELL AS YOU, I SWEAR IT’S TRUE. HEY THERE DELILAH, DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT PROTECTION I’M EVEN HARDER WHEN YOU’RE LONELY, TAKE A LOOK AT MY ERECTION, CLOSE YOUR EYES, I WANNA GET BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS, ‘TIL I’M INSIDE. OH, I WISH YOU WOULD DO ME, OH, I WISH YOU WOULD DO ME. OH, I WISH YOU WOULD DO ME, OH, I WISH YOU WOULD DO ME. WISH YOU WOULD SCREW ME…
Yeah right. If she’s attractive and single, we see her as a threat. If she really is just a friend, let us know the reason why. Is it because she’s not your type, she has a boyfriend, she has an annoying personality? We like to be reassured that you’re not secretly into your “friend”.
I’ll call you tonight at 8pm.
Do not give a specific time or date of when you will be calling unless you intend to keep your word. If you say you will call tonight, we are expecting a call tonight. Not calling will set off all sorts of alarms that will lead to us not trusting you. If you don’t know when you will call, you can say something like, “I’ll talk to you later.”
We like to think that, at least in your eyes,we are the hottest woman on the planet. Pointing out that someone else is attractive will not earn you any brownie points. We don’t want to know if you think anyone else is hot, so zip it!
I don’t use condoms.
That’s nice. We don’t want an STD. Condoms are a fact of life in today’s society, so unless you’ve been tested and plan to be monogamous, get used to them.
I love you.
If you don’t mean it, you’ll be opening Pandora’s Box. Women do not take this statement lightly. We are waiting for you to say it and when you do, we assume the relationship is moving to the next level. If you’re not ready for that, then don’t utter these three little words until you are.
Did you gain weight?
Does this one really need an explanation? You shouldn’t even say this jokingly, even if your girlfriend is stick thin. Just as you don’t want to hear anything about your “size”, women don’t want to hear about their weight.
My ex always/never/used to…
If your ex is still on your mind so much that you need to constantly bring her up, then why are you dating us? Relationships are difficult enough without the ghost of your ex floating around. Either get back with her or shut up.
You remind me of my mother.
Do not compare your mother to your girlfriend unless you’ve made it clear that you absolutely adore your mother and think the world of her.
Did we have plans?
Oh no you didn’t! If we’ve made plans to get together, we’ve been looking forward to it all day. We’ve been thinking about how to dress and how to do ourhair. Don’t rain on our parade by being dumb enough to forget or there will be hell to pay.
Keep in touch/Call me.
What the heck is that supposed to mean? That you don’t plan on ever calling us again? That you want us to call you next time? That you’re unsure how we feel about you and you want to see if we’ll call? There’s too much room for misinterpretation here, so just don’t use either of these ambiguous expressions. Your job is to call, our job is to wear the high heels.
When I was younger we had the best shows. I mean the Rugrats, Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, Dexter's Laboratory, Ed Edd and Eddy, the Powerpuff Girls, the Amanda Show, Keenan and Kel, All that. We had Ferbies, Polly Pocket, Power Rangers, Game Boy. We listened to Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Aaron Carter, NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys. Well lets just say we were the best generation. Reblog if you're a 1990's kid.